Da, da, comrade... pass the borscht.

I for one welcome our new state-capitalist neo-Leninist overlords, and I'd just like to take this opportunity to state for the record, that— as a dirty fucking hippie Leftist blogger— I may prove to be useful to their plans by helping them convince the proles to continue toiling away in their underground sugar mines.

Otherwise, I'm rendered utterly unspeechified by this:

SEC intends to temporarily ban short selling, but it's not clear if the commission has approved the move. Cox is briefing congressional leaders. Separately, the government is seeking congressional authority to buy distressed assets.

Of all the stupidest possible things to do, I never would have guessed they'd reach in the bag for this one. Who are these alien shitfiends, and what are they doing on my PLANET?

Ariirghhghrhhghgh!!!!!!!! The shrill. I feel it taking over my brain. Must control myself. Must find whiskey. It's only 10:00am PDT. How will I survive this dark night?