Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Boxters rule, SUV's blow...

I have been driving an SUV for several months now, alongside my wifes Corolla. My reptile brain does not react to the SUV experience the way the other serpents apparently are. Maybe it's from a lifetime of driving subcompacts, but I never feel as in control of the vehicle like I have in other cars. Now my SUV is the girly one my wife picked out, 4 cylinders, no 4 wheel drive, etc. So it lacks all the penis enhancment qualities one normally associates with the Navigator, the Expedition, and the other penis extension vehicles. But the handling differences alone make the Corolla a better driving experience, and gives me far more confidence. The 4runner has made me drive a bit slower on average because of the rollover factor, the fact it's underpowerd for it's size, and the turn radius, which blows rancid donkey cock.

I'm not complaining too much, it runs well, it starts every morning, and it's a Toyota, not one of those American pieces of maggot infested shit churned out by other automakers (Yes, Ford, I am mad dogging you). And you don't need the strength of ten men to turn it, like the pickup sometimes does. (Mojo, I feel your pain).

The New Yorker article is very accurate based on my experience with my SUV-lite. I'd rather have a mini-van for cargo space, and definitely a Camry or Accord for the overall drving experience, not to mention the mileage. SUV's suck, and I will be agitating for a new vehcile in a year or two to replace ours with something better.

Insert the vengeful, apocalyptic wrath of the space-God Jehovah-1 here.

No comments: