Sunday, July 25, 2004

Mojowire for 07/24/04

Mojowire for 07.24; vol. 2, no. 12

J. Good morning, and welcome to The Mojowire, Vol. 2, No.12... I'm Mojo...

S. And I'm Sean, it's Saturday, July, 24, 2004, Day 1,198 of the Neocon Captivity, and here's the news for the week gone-by...

J. Brought to you by Mojohaus-fine journalism, afflicting the comfortable since 1988. Now headlines, from Mojohaus:

S. First this morning, the we here at the Mojowire are going to do our best to scare the living hell out of you. Think you are going to get to vote in November? Think again citizen. Even now folks from Homeland Security are lobbying Congress to allow them to cancel elections in case of attack.

J. Next, in case you were wondering exactly what the nature of the Republican party in Congress when it comes to who really supports the troops in a meaningful way. Here's a hint. Congress voted on party lines to deny military family housing expansion. Guess which side voted against it...

S. Then Strychnine gives the detailed technical data on the effects of mudslinging, when done with a rail gun from the moon, by relating more of the recent horrible tale of how the Bush Administration treats those with whom it disagrees. This week's contestants, Jamie Gorelick, Sandy Berger and returning character in jeopardy champion Joe Wilson.

J. Finally this morning. Attenion all wire heads, there may be swarthy brown men near you even as we speak. They are everywhere, they are into everything. They might be in the car next to you on the freeway, they might be in the booth behind you at Dennys, they might try to fly on the same domestic flight as you... be afraid, very afraid... let Anne Jacobsen show you the way...

...So stand by to stand by while we get ready to pull the pin on this thing...

J. Here's what bugs me the most about this story. They are not exactly being subtle. I know this will probably not be new for anyone hearing this, but for me at least, I felt the need to let one rip, that my voice might travel through the dark aether as a warning to other civilizations who might follow in our footsteps.

DeForest B. Soaries. Remember that name friends and neighbors. Thats the guy who first tipped us off that the final act of the American Experiment was about to begin. About three or four weeks ago, this Radical Conservative Baptist Minister from New Jersey was asking the Department of Homeland Security for some official guidelines on canceling elections in the event of a terrorist attack.

Which, in of itself might be laughable had not the Right Reverend Soaries also been moonlighting on his congregation as the chair of the U.S. Election Assistance Commission as mandated in the Help America Vote for Bush Act of 2002. You see the problem, the election czar is asking how he can cancel elections.

To set the context, this was nearly a week before Tom Ridge and the Untouchables made their breathless pronouncements that the dread Al Qaeda death eaters with the laser beam eyes and kung fu grip flying their Iraqi made Flying Saucers deployed from their Sub Orbital Battle Cruiser, the Bill Clinton,,were planning to disrupt the American electoral process with fire, sword and blood.

Or words to that effect.

But too late, for those of us who are watching closely. We know Soaries was already looking for ways to cancel the election based on perceived threats to the United States before Ridge ever opened his piehole to utter a warning.

It was then that Ridge confirmed that they were working out ways to postpone or cancel the elections if the terrorists did hit us with a large-scale attack in the United States in an effort to disrupt our democratic process. This little soundbite managed to make its way into the mainstream reporting on the homeland security for a couple of days, especially once people put the pieces together and got that cold chill up their spine.

Then there were people like us who were just in the process of wondering how the Bush administration would steal another election, when the news hit us. The easiest way to steal an election if youre an incumbent? Just cancel the damn thing. That's right, have the Court or your punk minions in Congress grant you some plenary emergency powers and then we've got ourselves a ball game.

So it then became the whole "so what do you think the Bushies are planning to blow up in October?" I mean, this is really almost out of Tom Clancy-land, for those of you who have read Red Storm Rising as many times as I have.

S. Yeah, I know this is just letting our inner conspiracy theorists off the leash to run and bark and chase squirrels up trees. I get that. And to be fair, in the wake of the meager national mainstream press this generated, Soaries offered a long winded statement on how "There are no circumstances that could justify the postponement or cancellation of a presidential election in the United States."

Of course his press release was talking about people blowing up polling places, while Ridge's statements were talking about attempts to influence the political thought of the electorate.

Still, Soaries words might have been comforting but for one disquieting fact that hangs in the air like a bad smell no amount cheap perfume from the press office can quite get rid of.

In the wake of the hysteria surrounding Ridge's announcement that Al Qaeda plans to fly a Michael Moore shaped blimp full of radioactive xenite gas into the World Series to disrupt our electoral process, one very odd thing happened. Or rather didn't happen.

Ridge refused to raise the threat level from Yellow to Orange, or for those on the Japanense Monster Attack threat level, from condition Mothra to condition Ghidara. Even when asked, all Ridge could do was spew a breathless stream of bureaucratic consciousness designed to paralyze his victim with its utter dada-like nonsense:

"Well, we wouldn't necessarily broadcast to the terrorists what it would take for us to raise it to Orange, but we know internally that there are a couple of tripwires that might cause us to pull everybody together to begin that whole process. We share with you a -- I've said this on many other occasions. We churn information daily. We begin discussing that information in the White House, and then twice a day the intelligence community, by secure video, goes over not only the threat information of the day but the threat information that's been accumulated over a period of time. And I think we all know internally the kind of environment which includes perhaps the nature of reporting or the amount of reporting, but we have in our own minds what the tripwires might be for us to begin that process."

Yeah, whatever Tom, up the voltage.

But out in the real world, when the threat level goes up, certain behind the scenes things happen that create extra layers of security on the national infrastructure. So the question becomes why, in the face of credible information of an attack allegedly in the final planning stages, would we not increase the layers of security?

Sure there might be some legitimate answers to this, maybe Ridge is just hedging his bets, maybe this was Ridge trying to influence voters, and we may, in fact, just be harboring a dark fascination with the end of the world, but given this administration, and the fact that they have buried the needle in all other measures of mendacity and corruption, we simply don't have the heart to laugh off the obvious answer.

Yeah, it wouldn't be so that the attack came off without a hitch, would it? Would it?

J. Here is just another fine example of the People's House in action. You know, for more than a year now, we have been beating on Congress for abrogating their role both as an oversight for the executive branch, as well as for their utter dereliction of duty when it comes to dealing with our national budget issues and priorities.

To that end, we have suffered through a lot of pro-patria chest pounding in the last four years about support for our troops, but apparently when it comes time to put their money where their mouths are, these same scumbags who wrap themselves in the flag and get photo ops with the troops, turn around and vote against men and women in uniform.

The House of Representatives voted along party lines to block a $500 million expansion in military housing from a $10 billion military construction appropriations bill Wednesday.

The Associated Press reported on Wednesday that without the money, the housing expansion program is expected to exhaust its current $850 million spending limit by November. Supporters said that would delay new housing for 50,000 military families over the next two years.

The really lovely part in that, is that this was on the same day that Army announced they are moving up their recruiting classes from their enlistment deferment dates and we will soon see something of a baby boom in the Army. Yeah, because those families will have no problems living in tents in the park or in residence hotels while their spouses are getting their heads shot off in far away lands.

One of the extra special treats of this circus of despair was the Republican leadership in the House pulling yet another procedural club out the bag and holding the vote open for an extra 20 minutes or so; just enough time for their leg breakers to beat the consciences out of the last few Republicans who still had a tenous grasp on right and wrong at that point and round up their votes.

But wait, this is really my favorite part. In what Democratic Rep. Ike Skelton of Missouri understasted as cynical move the House then passed a stand alone appropriation a short while later to replace the money. So you might ask, what are you guys venting spleen about. They fixed it, right? Right?

Not so fast there Diamond Jim, you see, the 412-0 vote was purely cosmetic. There was not a person voting for that second measure who did not know full well that the Senate would never approve a stand alone $500 million appropriation for military housing, unless it was part of the larger overall military construction package.

If the representatives were so concerned about taking care of our troops and their families, why not just leave the appropriation alone in the original bill. This is a perfect metaphor for George Bush's carrier landing photo op stunt. This was not supporting our troops, this was complete fantasy, a marzipan illusion, dressed up in a sharp green flight suit with the straps extra tight to make that great manly bulge.

Votes like this should be a signal to every active duty service member, reservist and veteran in America about what Republicans in Congress are doing for them.

S. This was completely shameful. Those who voted to kill the appropriation owe an apology to every single person who wears the uniform of their country. And for those of you listening down behind the Orange Curtain, can you possibly even think that you dont know how your local choads voted on this? Here's a hint: They voted against the troops:...again!

Nearly every Republican in Congress has some version of let's support our troops pablum on their website, appearing in their campaign literature and in their droning sonombulist special order speeches on CSPAN.

Well, guys, were still waiting for you to do just that. Anytime you feel like really stepping up and giving a hand to military families, you just feel free to get right in there and do it.

No no, thats okay, well just wait please, just go ahead

Yeah, I know, its not like we were really going to hold our breaths, because a quick rundown of the major accomplishments of this Congress relative to vets is a political nightmare. Just the thought that these people blithely allowed the President to ship these kids halfway around the world, then are busy at home trying to find more money for rich people by taking it away from these same kids is sick on a level that we even find shocking.

And thats how its been down the line, from military combat pay, to job protection for reservists, to equipment in the field.

There were the cuts to veterans benefits of every kind, and then the Republicans have been turning around and running ads about Osama Bin Kerry voted against body armor for the troops because of a blind hatred of America.

Screw these guys, they have all the charm of road kill.

There are times when Michael Moore actually does make a lot of sense. If Congress ever declares war or allows the President to play army-man with his military, then everyone who actually votes for the resolution allowing the use of force must send their own children or spouses directly to the front lines, or in cases of members who are childless and unwed, they must then go themselves.

There is absolutely no excuse for the shabby treatment that veterans have received by our nation. There was this aura of mystic wonder around soldiers who came home from World War II. Granted, no one wanted to know how damaged some of these guys were; they won, they defeated the evil that was good enough for the moment.

But in the ensuing years as guys came home from Korea, Viet Nam, Iraq and numerous other places around the world, it seems like we wanted to know less and less about them. Sure, we all liked Veterans and Memorial Days off, but after that, who cared?

And its not like a lot vets went around making unreasonable demands, either. How about just having the Congress honor the agreements they made with them in the first place? Or taking care of them and their families like they were promised?

The only thing worse than those broken promises is then watching these vermin turn up on Fox News or the Washington Times to excoriate those who dont want to send these kids to war in the first place and paint themselves all red, white and blue when at the end of the day, they couldn't care less about the vets other than making sure they have plenty of pictures of them in their election brochures.

Yeah...these guys just suck.

And now the music is telling me that we have an incoming transmission from the redoubtable Dr. S9…

J. That’s right. It is time once again for our regular contributor Dr. Strychnine, reporting from his super-secret, ultra-dope, mega-cool, extra-jiggy, Mojohaus spy satellite of love high in geosynchronous orbit above Baghdad by the Bay…take it away S9…

S9. Greetings once again, space travelers, from low earth orbit's most worker friendly libertarian socialist utopia (as voted by the readers of Very High Times Magazine), where organization isn't just a political posture -- it's a survival mechanism.

We've been howling our heads off with laughter lately, watching the news-like verbiage product coming spinning up the gravity well from Washington, D.C. We have to laugh, of course, because crying over spilled beer is a pointless activity. The thing that has us most amused these days is the ongoing question about whether American "movement conservatives" are feeling a sense of desperation about the November election.

One school of thought that is making the rounds up here is that the wingnuts are on the verge of cracking up like a supersonic balsa wood glider, they are so desperately losing. Personally, I don't quite buy it -- but I'm willing to go along if it will bring more players into the betting pool.

Specifically, the story that has us chittering about the possibility of Republican Party discord is the obvious smear job the So-Called-Liberal-Media is running against the big three controversial
figures in the story of the 9/11 Commission. The three victims of this smear are Jamie Gorelick, Joe Wilson and Sandy Berger. The theory is that the R's know their White House comes out looking pretty incompetent in the report, so they feed the mainstream press a series of brain-dead non-story controversies that are tailor-made to inspire the kind of pack-frenzy journalism that made the American media into the laughing-stock of the world.

Check it. They blamed one of the commission members, Jamie Gorelick, for the long-standing policy of maintaining operational separation between the intelligence and law-enforcement arms of the D.O.J. Ms. Gorelick wrote a memo clarifying the policy, and now suddenly she's personally responsible for the fact that the Millennium Bomb plot might have been foiled if it hadn't been for her. Oh wait, it was foiled, wasn't it? We forget up here on S9 Station.

Not to be content with that, they also smeared Joe Wilson. Wilson is the guy the CIA sent to Niger to find out if there was anything to the story that Iraq might have been trying to buy uranium on the side. He came back with a definitive ''No, what the hell are you people thinking?'' and the White House went gangland on his family. They blew the cover of his CIA agent wife just to make an example for him. His story held up to serious analysis, however, so now we have to watch as
he is hideously smeared in the press. They're calling him a liar -- even though his story is as clean as the day is long. If they repeat it enough times, though, it'll be true anyway.

And finally, there is the Sandy Berger story. This one is just completely loopy. Anybody still flogging this story ought to be considered eligible for the Clockwork Orange therapy -- just bind them up in straightjackets, bracket their heads in front of a big projection screen, tape open their eyelids, dose them with industrial hallucinogens, and make them watch Scarborough Country while delivering electric shocks to their favorite body parts every time Joe tells a whopper. Berger broke the protocol at the National Archives. No documents were lost or destroyed, the 9/11 Commission has no complaints and the FBI investigation has been stalled since October. But pay no attention to that -- Sandy Berger mishandled classified national security documents. How do we know he didn't betray the United States and disclose sensitive and secret information about the Millennium Bomb plot to the terrorists? It would be just like Clinton's National Security Adviser to turn out to be a terrorist, wouldn't it? Of course now, but that's what the so-called-liberal-media would have you believe.

The point of all these smears is to do one very simple thing: overwhelm the press with so many lies and so much irrational doublethink that it will be incapable of covering the real content of the 9/11 Commission report -- content that was already diluted by administration stonewalling and official obfuscation -- that if the Bush administration had not been stroking its big chalootie for the kicking of Saddam's rear end, then it might have had a very good chance of unravelling the 9/11 plot before it had successfully murdered over 3000 Americans and guest workers from friendly nations.

Like I said, some people will look at this triple smear-job and say to themselves: self, you gotta know this is a sure sign that the R's are desperate. They gotta be desperate. Only desperate people would engage in the politics of personal destruction like this.

You would be wrong, unfortunately. The truth is that the R's (at least, the ones that are currently running the show at party headquarters) do this kind of thing just to add their personal touch to
the story. They smear people because it's the only thing they know to do anymore.

Believe me. They're not feeling desperate yet. If they were feeling desperate, we would be at Homeland Security Threat Condition Code Elmo right now, and there would be paramilitary gangs driving around our neighborhoods in jacked up four-wheel-drive suburban assault vehicles
enforcing the new discipline and order.

They're not desperate. Listen to them closely. They're gloating.

J. So wireheads, been keeping a close eye on your swarthy fellow citizens? Anne Jacobsen, self annointed free lance writer at took a Domestic flight full, gasp..swarthy Middle Eastern guys.

As she recounts in her laughlingly titled piece, "Terror in the skies", she engages in bout of paranoia..errr..vigilance that would give a John Ascroft a stiffie, she became rapidly alarmed as a group of Middle Eastern Men boarded the aircraft. Pat Smith at lays it out pretty succinctly:

What follows are six pages of the worst grade-school prose, spring-loaded with mindless hysterics and bigoted provocation.

Fourteen dark-skinned men from Syria board Northwest's flight 327, seated in two separate groups. Some are carrying oddly shaped bags and wearing track suits with Arabic script across the back. During the flight the men socialize, gesture to one another, move about the cabin with pieces of their luggage, and, most ominous of all, repeatedly make trips to the bathroom.

The author links the men's apparently irritable bladders to a report published in the Observer (U.K.) warning of terrorist plots to smuggle bomb components onto airplanes one piece at a time, to be secretly assembled in lavatories.

"What I experienced during that flight," breathes Jacobsen, "has caused me to question whether the United States of America can realistically uphold the civil liberties of every individual, even non-citizens, and protect its citizens from terrorist threats."

Intriguing, no? I, for one, fully admit that certain acts of airborne crime and treachery may indeed open the channels to a debate on civil liberties. Pray tell, what happened? Gunfight at 37,000 feet? Valiant passengers wrestle a grenade from a suicidal operative? Hero pilots beat back a cockpit takeover?

Well, no. As a matter of fact, nothing happened. Turns out the Syrians are part of a musical ensemble hired to play at a hotel. The men talk to one another. They glance around. They pee.

That's it? That's it.

Here, according to, was the event as described by the Federal Marshalls on the aircraft:

Undercover federal air marshals on board a June 29 Northwest airlines flight from Detroit to LAX identified themselves after a passenger, "overreacted," to a group of middle-eastern men on board, federal officials and sources have told KFI NEWS.

The passenger, later identified as Annie Jacobsen, was in danger of panicking other passengers and creating a larger problem on the plane, according to a source close to the secretive federal protective service.

S.Jacobsen, a self-described freelance writer, has published two stories about her experience at, a business advice web site designed for women.

"The lady was overreacting," said the source. "A flight attendant was told to tell the passenger to calm down; that there were air marshals on the plane."

The source said the air marshals on the flight were partially concerned Jacobsen's actions could have been an effort by terrorists or attackers to create a disturbance on the plane to force the agents to identify themselves.

So, no big deal right? Some Red State Blue Hair has a Fox News induced breakdown on a domestic flight when a group of Syrian musicians has the unmitigated gall to use the lavatory and congregate at the back of a plane. Wrong! Right Wing Media peed in it's collective diaper over this story:

Talk Radio,(of course), was unanimous in it's demand to profile aggesively. Profiling to Limbaugh Fan or Savage Fan is bascially strip search anyone non-europeon or well, French, and keep them in a special class at the back of the aircraft with plastic forks and armed guards pointing at their gentials. Even the "So Called Liberal Media" (thank you Dr. Alterman) got into the act. Here are some of the quotes Mr. Smith found from them:

"Harrowing piece"
"The frightening true story"
"Disturbing account"
"Riveting article"
"An absolute must-read"

Annie is still clinging to her claim that the Syrians were terrorists on a "dry run", even though the National Review Online, (no really) posted a story that found this out about the Syrians:

Clinton Taylor, a lawyer/Ph.D student/college news co-director who decided to track down the Syrian musians/terorrists. He found (via Google) a casino near San Diego which advertised ethnic musical entertainment. By calling them, and then a rep for Anthem Artists, he seems to have discovered that the notorious Restroom Gang was actually the band for one Nour Mehana, the "Syrian Wayne Newton."

Yes, Anne and her dufe husband were terrified at 30,000 feet by Wayne Newton.

The reason we pimp you this HORRRRRRible story is to not to merely point out that Anne is a dumbass, but that how the right has melded it's racist "Islamo-brown fear" with efforts to improve domestic security. It dovetails nicely with their obsession with illegal immigration, which they manage to blame everything from high taxes to their bloated light beer gut.

As Dr. Strychnine pointed out, Domestic acts of terror like the anthrax attacks have disappeared from the media radar. Apparently, as he notes, because the perpetrators were not swarthy enough for the attention of Fox News or Talk Radio. As the new film Outfoxed reveals, Fox News in particular has a different attitude towards Domestic Terrorists. Here is one of the Memos Fox News Corporate handed down to reporters about Rudolph.

"We have a good Perp walk video of Eric Rudloph we should use. We should not assssume that anyone who supported or helped Rudolph is a racist. No one's in favor of murder or bombing of public places. But feelings in North Carolina may just be more complicated than the New York Times can conceive. Two Style Notes: Rudolph is charged with bombing an abortion clinic, not a health clinic, and TODAY'S HEARING IS NOT AN ARRAIGNMENT IT IS A PRELMINARY HEARING."

Where do you begin with this? Well, Let's be clear who Rudolph was and what he did. Rudolph belonged to a radical domestic terror group that openly adv ocated the murder of Heatlh care workers and physicians at clincs that provided prenatal care, including abortions. Yes, Mr. Murdoch, those are indeed health clincs. Rudolph planted two bombs at the clinic. The first to kill and maim Doctors and Nurses, along with their pregnant patients, including children, and another bomb to kill Emergency Responders, Police and Firemen, several of whom were killed in the second blast.

Contrarty to the Fox memo, Rudolph and his group openly advocated killing in public places, and they have a wide following in the anti abortion movement. It.s a nasty slander on North Carolina that they would in any way be "complicated in a way that would infer they support anything Rudolph did or supported. Remember, he also planted the bomb that killed and maimed at the Olympics in Atlanta. That's an act of Terror Fox News, in case that memo never made it to the anchor desk.

So Rudolph, who murdered dozens of people, should not be slandered and the freak bats who support him should not be called out for being the racist scum they are, and they are racists by the way. And god forbid we should let on that Clincs that provide abortions for the most part provide prenatal and Pediatric care, that might ignite an outbreak of journalism and truth in the Fox Newsroom. If that happens they will never get the smell out of the carpet.

Domestic Terror is as alive today and is it was when Rudolph and McVeigh killed innocent people to live out their right wing crank fantasies. Funny, but you haven't heard dick from John Ashcroft about the threat of Domestic terror. Apparently Anthrax letters are a harmless prank when Americans send them.

As David Neuiart at points out, Anne Jacobsens brown swarthy man paranoia is dangerously similiar to the madness that swept the West Coast after Pearl Harbor. He relates some of the madness from his book Strawberry Days: The Rise and Fall of Japanese-American Community: to wit:

A broad array of federal and local officials chimed in, often trumpeting unfounded rumors to the press as stated fact. Navy Secretary Frank Knox, for instance, had declared to reporters that the Pearl Harbor disaster had been a direct result of "fifth column" activity by Japanese-American spies in Hawaii (a report that later proved to be completely groundless).

Not surprisingly, politicians of nearly every stripe joined in the headline-grabbing spree. The old anti-Japanese legends of the 1920s surfaced for a fresh retelling: The immigrants were insular mercenaries who intended to return to Japan anyway. Their children were all thoroughly indoctrinated subjects of Tojo. They could never be "American." And they secretly hated us.

A popular consensus had already been reached, confirming suspicions many had held for years: The "Japs" in their midst were spying for Japan.

"People in positions where they could influence the population, they sure did," recalls Tosh Ito. "I think people listened a lot more to them. There was a lot of hysteria because of the media, too." For a war-happy press anxious for a local angle on the conflict, the prospect of a West Coast invasion made great-selling copy. The Los Angeles Times ran headlines like "Jap Boat Flashes Message Ashore" and "Caps on Japanese Tomato Plants Point to Air Base."

Pretty soon, everyone was getting into the act. Reports of "signals" being sent out from shore to unknown, mysterious Japanese boats offshore began flowing in. One report, widely believed at the time, came from someone who heard a dog barking somewhere along the shore of Oahu, and believed that it was barking in Morse code to an offshore spy ship.

So, yeah, crazy right wing couples so paranoid and fearful Air Marshalls are tempted to gun them down to shut them up are ulitimately easy to ignore. But, coupled with the racist profiling of Caucasion challenged Americans, the disgraceful apoligism and spin of right wing domestic terror by Fox and other outlets, and the growing resemblance to the madness of iternment, we need to be vigililent against the fear and paranoi emanating from the Republican Party, because it CAN happen here...

J. It's 101 days until election day and our patriotic thought for the week is: honoring commitments to our vets, means the terrorists win, or as John Ashcroft says... “Dankeshein...sing it hippy, you know the words...”

S. And that’s all for this week, tune in again soon for another exciting installment, until, of course, we are declared enemies of the state.

And remember, you can now email the Mojowire at, that’s Email, us hippies!

J. And now you can check out the Mojowire online at; you can read the entire archive along with our general ramblings...

This has been the Mojowire, brought to you by Mojohaus...Mojohaus-fine journalism, afflicting the comfortable since 1988, and produced by our super funky fly producer Mike Payne and the Darkling Eclectica, here on KUCI, 88.9...


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