MIDLAND, Mich. – A statewide family values group Tuesday praised Midland Central Middle School Principal Paula Geller for pledging to ensure that the middle school’s student newspaper will not publish articles in the future encouraging its 11- to 13-year old readers to consider experimenting with witchcraft.
Gary Glenn, Midland, president of the American Family Association of Michigan, contacted school officials in response to the Winter 2005 issue of the middle school’s Cavalier Chronicle, which included an article entitled “Good Witch or Bad Witch?” in which an 8th grade member of the student newspaper staff wrote that “most people believe that witches don’t exist, and I am here to prove them wrong.”
“My family is a normal family, except that my aunt is a Wiccan witch,” the Central Middle School 8th grader wrote. [...]
Well now, this really isn't a surprise— is it? Of course, it isn't. We've always known that, when the American Family Association complains about religious freedom, they don't much care about the freedom of non-Christians. So, we should not be surprised at all when they come out with self-congratulatory press releases after bullying some school principal into silencing the religious evangelism of some hapless student who would be receiving their full support if they weren't evangelizing for another team.
I mention this because it reminds me of my favorite taunt to these people when they come at me with arguments in favor of spending government funds on vouchers for use in paying tuitions at private religious schools. I typically say something like this: "Bring it on. I live in San Francisco, home of the world headquarters of the Temple of Set, a 501(c)3 religious organization. They are a Satanic church, and they make Anton LeVey's little traveling carnival look like the cheap circus show it is. They are organized and many of their members are not poor, starving debt-slaves. When you pass this law, these people will set up a private school that accepts your vouchers the very next day, and I will be able to spend your tax dollars sending my kid to a school that teaches the fscking dark arts. Won't that be fun for you?"
Deep inside them, you can almost hear them telling themselves, "Oh, no you won't. The government won't let Satanists take the vouchers." But they're never too sure, and it kills them. After all, they're pretty sure the Mormons will get to take the vouchers... and so will the Jews and the Muslims and the Buddhists and the Hindus and... how do you draw the line at the Satanists?