Sunday, February 12, 2006

Richard "May We Call You Dead-Eyed Dick" Cheney

O. M. G. The Subcommander-in-chief, Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man. Accidentally. Or, so they're saying.

They're actually trying to tell us this was a hunting accident. Now let's be clear— Dick Cheney does not hunt. Dick Cheney goes to game farms and wanders around shooting animals that are raised in pens and released just for rich, white guys, like him, to get wood by killing helpless defenseless creatures.

Remember when Senator Kerry was running for President in 2004, he went hunting in Ohio and claimed to have bagged a goose? He looked pretty ridiculous coming back empty-handed, didn't he? It was carefully staged— complete with brand new, never before used camouflage and shotgun. Yeah, I thought it was pretty lame, too. He deserved every bit of mockery that conservatives heaped on him for that stunt.


Check out Bob Geiger's Top Ten Excuses for Dick Cheney's "accidentally" shooting an old geezer.

All kidding aside, how fscked up do you have to be to make a mistake like this? This ought to be the wake-up call for Cheney's physicians. The patient is clearly not managing his medications, and he needs to be isolated and put under observation for a while. At the very least, he needs to have his guns taken away from him until he can pass a basic firearms safety class.

p.s. While we're on the topic of the latest Something Awful to come out of the Cheney Administration, would somebody please explain to me why the so-called "liberal" media needed eighteen whole hours before news of this event could become public?

Update 1.0 (by vanmojo): "It's only a flesh wound..." Looks like Whittington has suffered a minor heart attack after some of the birdshot got lodged in his heart... Any bets on exactly how long this guy's actually been dead?

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