Rock Bottom...

Okay dopers, listen up...

The following is the rhetorical equivalent of looking for bits of your carpet with bong-water stains to cut up and smoke because you spent your last 10 bucks on a George Bush bobble-head doll to impress that preppy-chick in your Monday morning poli-sci class...

Illegal aliens cause obesity

... this is how desperate these people have gotten.

Here's yer money grafs:

Without a surfeit of illegal immigrants, the cost of getting household jobs done would probably be higher. With less competition from cheap illegal labor, legal workers would benefit. And some householders who enjoyed access to cheap immigrant labor would no longer be willing or able to pay the higher wages resulting from a restricted immigrant labor supply.

To the extent Americans adjusted their lifestyle to a reduction in the supply of immigrant labor by doing more household tasks, obesity would decline and health would improve. It would also be a financial boon. Householders would save on labor costs and obesity-related medical and other expenses, and taxpayers would save a bundle to boot.

How freekish is this? Undocumented workerrs are causing Americans' obesity... This really is rock bottom; an intervention is necessary at this point. Really, how do you parody this?

I'm still reeling from the awesome trembling display of wretched tortured logic in this argument. Seriously, a couple of years ago, this would have been an Onion article. What the fsck is next... the heartbreak of Psoriasis? "Are you troubled by a burning and itching sensation on your scalp, feet or groin? If so, your problem is not your lax hygiene... all the Mexicans are using our domestic water and soap supply leaving tender American skin at the mercy of foreign fungus and bacteria that will eat away at our moral fiber and pollute our precious bodily fluids... remember America, no matter what those hippies from Franceataxachusettstan tell you with all their fancy liberal 'science', it's not your fault..."

To seriously pimp the idea that Americans are fat and lazy because we have our Mexi-bots to do all our manual labor for us so that we can lounge all day in luxury on our couches jamming ding-dongs, KFC and MGD long necks into our grill as quickly as our chubby, grease smeared little fingers can move reeks so badly of political desperation anc cultural fear and loathing that no amount of cheap perfume from the West Wing will be able to mask the smell of the gasoline-soaked towels on the cross waiting to be lit for the evening's GOP pro-patria rally.

Really, go to this Orcinus post that lays out our nation's long, proud history of anti-immigrant hysteria so finely tuned as to border on mass psychosis.

But articles like this also demonstrates the extent to which the movement conservatives feel like they have been done in the ass by the President on this issue. As we wrote in our live blogging of the President a few days ago, these people were not going to be happy unless we were going to put the 3rd Infantry Division on the border with orders to set up a 50-mile security zone inside Mexico and kill every living thing that walks north.

mojo sends