Monday, October 16, 2006

Attention shoppers: Brooklyn Bridge for Sale!

This has got to be the one of the most preposterous stories presented with a straight face of the last several weeks. For example:
If the panel recommends overhauling Bush's approach to Iraq, it could give a boost not only to critics of current policy but also to officials in the administration who have argued for broad changes.

And if monkeys fly out of Donald Rumsfelds bum, maybe they will be supportive of any sort of dipolmatic engagement with Syria and Iran.

Do the stenographers who write this stuff actually live on planet earth? Does anyone seriously believe that this President, or any of this foreign policy team are remotely concerned with changing their policy? "Well, the last million examples of policy failure didn't sway them, but now that Jim Baker points a few out, the entire culture and belief system at the White House will miraculously change."

Will this be before or after the White House is transforemd into a magical land of lollipops and candycanes, where little pixies dance and sing happy songs? Hellooo, this White House fought tooth and nail to make John Friggin' Bolten the U.N. Ambassador? Could you possibly find a greater example of the level of contempt and outright hatred the Administration has for diplomacy and engagement? These people are moving assets into the Gulf to whack Iran even as we speak. According to Sy Hersh, Generals at the Pentagon were in a panic after they witnessed serious discussions at the White House proposing using Nukes on suspected Iranian nuclear development sites. But, sure, some wonks hired by Congress are going to get a serious hearing at the White House.

Oh, wait..what's that you say?
The Baker panel, called the Iraq Study Group, was formed in response to a proposal by members of Congress. Nevertheless, Baker sought — and won — Bush's endorsement.

Well now that you inform me that the President endorses it, it must be serious. Just like he endorsed the 9/11 Comission, right? I'm sure it's mere coincidence that this White House "endorses" things it realizes it cannot change so they can pretend it was their idea, and then ignore whatever it produces. How many times do they have to do this before someone at the major dailies clues into how it works. And of course, I'm sure the upcoming elections has no effect on the Presidents "support" for the Iraq jackoff group.

When you read these articles, you can practically sing along. Let me take a stab at writing what the story would look like if real reporters with a stake in telling the truth wrote this:

Former Bush 41 consiglere James A Baker has been cast in the lead part of a new farce dubbed the Iraq Study group. Along with the usual cast from the Non-Partisan acting troupe, Mr. Baker will once again play his infamous character, Jimmy Baker, elder statesmen. This installment tells the story of how Jimmy and his non-partisan sidekicks pretend to examine and propose concrete and practical alternatives to the disasterous foreign policy of the Bush Administration. Hilarity ensues after the election when anyone attempting to convince the President to embrace these alternatives is shivved at the White House mess by David Addington on orders from Don Cheney and his lieutenant, Donny "Hennypenny" Rumsfeld. Washington Post reporters who bring their steno pads will get in free!

I cannot wait for the riveting mini-series ABC makes out of this...

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